Learn to Be Bored

A few weeks ago I made my monthly journey to the local barber shop to have them shave down the sides and trim up the top. Getting a haircut is one of the few forms of self care that I genuinely enjoy. Going to the dentist or sitting in some doctor’s office never feels comfortable, but a fresh haircut and a hot neck shave never disappoints. The barber shop I frequent is simple, family oriented, and it’s the same four or five folks working each time I stop by. Usually, I am in and out in less than thirty minutes with minimal small talk, a service any introvert would appreciate. 

During my last visit, while I was sitting in the barber’s chair, a dad and his young son came into the shop. I suppose the dad was in his late thirties or early forties, while the son appeared to be maybe five or six years old. The dad, a calm and collected fellow, made his way to the barber’s chair next to mine, while his son tried to sit still in the waiting chairs across the room. While we both sat motionless at the hands of the barbers, the boy across the room was anything but. He moved from chair to floor to chair again. Like most hyper young boys would do, he wandered the shop, pacing like an anxious businessman trying to occupy his time, while his dad conversed with the barber. Every now and then he would firmly, yet gently say, “Son, get off the floor and sit still.” The boy would obey, intermittently, while fidgeting quietly in the chair. The gentleman again said very slowly and patiently like only a father can, “You’ve got to learn to be bored, son.” I smiled and made note of the interaction, while appreciating his steady demeanor. 

Learning to be bored is a tough lesson, especially for young minds. A world so full of distractions and better things to do makes it hard to sit and be still. There is no better lesson learned from deer hunting than learning to be bored. Boredom is simply disinterest or discontentment with your current circumstance. When I am bored, or discontent, I start waiting or looking for something better or more satisfying. Boredom in deer hunting looks like waiting in the top of some tree for a deer to emerge from the woods below. I fill the time by counting squirrels, practicing my draw and shouldering my rifle. I play with grunt calls, check the wind, and more often than not I scroll on my phone until I hear something worth greater attention.

I think most people think that prolonged waiting causes boredom, but I believe the opposite to be true. I think we are generally disinterested in the things around us, which causes us to wait or look for something better. We look for ways around boredom because it forces us to wait and nobody likes to do that. 

Before I was old enough to sit in my own deer stand I’d squeeze into one with my dad. I remember the feeling of anticipation that accompanied each early morning wake up call, the truck ride to the woods, the four wheeler ride up the ridge, and the hike down the other side. It all came to a head once we climbed the ladder, situated our gear and sat down on the bench seat together. From that point on all was quiet, at least for the first hour, then I started asking the questions all deer hunting dads dreadfully await from their hunters in training. “What time is it?”, which translated actually means, “How long are we going to stay?” “I’m hungry”, translates to “I’m bored.” And “Do you see anything?” actually means “We haven’t seen anything all day, can we go home now?”

The best hunters know how to take a seemingly boring sit, and turn it into purposeful waiting. Their maturity is something to be admired and their endurance to let boredom run its course, a skill I long to hold. However, a lot of hunters can’t take the silence that comes with waiting. I’d like to share some thoughts on why it’s hard to wait or to be bored and why we try to avoid it the best we can. Bear with me as my mind wanders…

Being placed in a boring environment forces you to wait. We wait for something exciting or meaningful to happen, we wait for a change of scenery, or even just some unknown ending. For most, waiting is uncomfortable. It makes us fidget and squirm in our chairs like little boys in barber shop waiting rooms. I think waiting is hard because it forces us to think. When there is nothing else to drown out the mind's voice, it rambles to fill the void. When we are forced to think we are forced to feel. When we are forced to feel it often hurts. We might feel anxious, dreadful, guilty, ashamed, or any other sort of undesirable sensation that we usually try to hide behind distractions. If we never had to wait, we’d never have to feel the pain of our own brokenness. 

Is that too deep? Too philosophical? Am I stretching to be stoic? Maybe, but it does seem to be a familiar pattern in my own experience. Boredom leads to waiting, which leads to thinking, which leads to feeling, which leads to hurting. But what comes after the hurting? Surely the road doesn’t end there. Would God purpose our boredom or our waiting, just to leave us with uncomfortable pain? There’s got to be more. 

So, I am praying for the maturity to believe that after the hurting comes a realization that there's nothing I can do to fix my own brokenness. I pray that leads to greater dependence on Christ to redeem me. From there I pray for greater faith, one that is secure and confident in the sufficiency of the gospel. Then I pray I would learn to be content in all circumstances, carrying a quiet soul at rest with its creator. 

That’s why it is crucial we learn to be bored. It is in boredom that we learn to wait. It is in the waiting that we learn to think. It is in our thinking that we learn to feel. In feeling we learn to hurt. Hurting reveals our own insufficiency and teaches us to pray and call out for help, which over time yields trust in Christ. Trusting in Christ settles the soul and gives us confidence. 

Learning to be bored leads its way to trusting in Christ further, that is if we let it run its course. For that, I am grateful. If God calls us to seasons of boredom, waiting, thinking, or even hurting then I must believe that He has purposed it for our good. It must lead to more of Him. 

Again this is just one deer hunter's thoughts on the matter. You might think differently and that’s ok too. Regardless of what you believe about the purpose of our boredom, I hope it leads you down a road that ends in the loving arms of Jesus. 

Lord, be with me in my boredom, be with me in my waiting, my thinking and my hurting. Be with me when I doubt your goodness and your process. In seasons of discomfort, whether they be physical, emotional, relational or otherwise, settle my mind and heart and equip me with the faith it takes to walk the road towards Christ. Help me as I process all this further. May your good Spirit lead me on level ground. 

Amen.