A Late Night Prayer for My Ministry and Yours

Lord, when I examine myself, and I mean really examine myself, I am overwhelmed by my own spiritual malnourishment. When I consider your righteous standard and your holy expectation I am ashamed. 

Lord, have I ever prayed? Truly, have I ever prayed? Have I ever truly read or studied your word? Have I ever truly labored to know you? Have I seriously cut out those things in me which you command that I must lose? 

Have I ever truly loved or delighted in your law? When I am honest with myself I must answer, “no”, not truly. Not as deeply as I ought. I have not begun to understand the depth of your calling to minister. 

Have I truly considered how deep you would have me go or how far you would have me leap? When I pray for your hand to move mightily have I stopped to think what that would require of me? I fear that I have not. How flippantly I have approached your throne, oh God!

I see that my soul, under close examination, carries more fat than my flesh, making me settle for what is comfortable and familiar. I have often sought that which numbs over that which heals. I have loved leisure more than labor in your harvest field. I have settled for shadows over substance.

I have just begun my ministry and yet I see that I am not sufficient for these things. There is not enough in myself to honor the Lord as I ought. Not enough energy, not enough fervency, not enough wisdom or love. For all of this I will one day give an account. What man is sufficient for these things? Who could be all that you require? 

There is only one, Jesus Christ our Lord. It is he who calls men out of this world and into your kingdom. I should dare not to doubt his sufficiency, but I ask you, Lord, with a trembling and fearful heart that in my own life and ministry he would be sufficient for me. He is sufficient, but I ask that I would see him as such. 

If there be any depth, any love, any earnestness or good fruit in my ministry show me gently that it is all provided by thy hand. Yes, Lord, deal gently with me for I am a man, weak and feeble. But you, God Almighty, take weak men and work for yourself mighty deeds to shame the strong. Who am I that you should call me into thy service? 

I am nothing and know nothing, but glory be to you that you are a God who creates “ex-nihilo”, out of nothing. If any good word comes across my tongue or if any good deed shall spring from my hand then may the world know that it is only by Christ in me.

Through all your steady drawing, you reveal how far off I really was. And because you are gracious you have shown me this little by little. Who could stand to know the full extent of how far you have come to find us? Who could stand to see the full weight of all their sins at one moment in time? 

Lord, be gracious to me. Surely you have been and surely you will be. Be gracious to my ministry and gracious to me as I learn to labor in love and truth. I believe there is more…more power, more life, more Christ to be had. I know there is more for me to do. Help me to shed all that is unhelpful, the weight that I do not need, for you are my portion forever. 

Lord, even now I know not these things I say, but I pray I will know them. I pray I’d know you. Even this prayer comes from your own Spirit deep within me. Wake me up to the glorious realities of Christ and his kingdom. To him be the glory in this little life of mine. 

I find comfort knowing that I am loved by you. My weaknesses have not diminished your devotion to me. I am your child, safe in your arms, secure and sure of my standing with you. 

Who is like you, God? You are one. I am yours and you are mine. This too is made possible by the blood of Christ, your Son. He is my peace and firm foundation. 

Praise him now! Praise him always! Because he is worthy of it all!

Lord, I rest in the promise of your great love tonight. Quiet my soul and hold me close as you lead me deeper and deeper in your presence. Bless our ministries and equip us for a lifetime of faithful service to you. 

-Your Child, Jeb