My Sustainer

“Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.”

Psalm 54:4

It has been six months since I last made time to write. Usually, I would have guilted myself for not being more disciplined in sticking to a writing schedule, but I believe the Lord has revealed more to me in an extended break than any self-determined act of the will ever could. Truth be told, there has been no break in my schedule. It has actually been quite the opposite. Since I last put words to the page I have been busier than ever before. Over the course of the last six months I have been entrusted with ministry in the Lord’s church as a youth pastor, completed my first year of seminary studies, become the father of a beautiful baby boy, and continued laboring in my work in the field of wildlife conservation. What used to be forty hour work weeks are now more than sixty or seventy hour weeks. In all of this there have been few moments that felt like a break, not much time for fresh air. 

However, between lesson planning for Wednesday night Bible studies, early morning reading and class lectures, conference calls, and late night diaper changes I have found an alien strength upholding me. If I ever had reason to be tired, drained of all my energy then now would be that time. Never have I been so stretched, yet I persist and continue on with the rising sun. How can this be? The man I was one year ago would have collapsed long ago, but the man I am today still breathes, albeit a little hard on most days. Where does this sustaining power come from? 

Romans 8:16 says, “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,”. I can testify today that the Holy Spirit bears witness that I am God’s child and since I am his child I know that it is he who sustains me. 

I do not hold myself up. I do not possess the strength needed to bear my weekly, daily, or hourly load. If I persist it is only because of his gracious hand helping me along. Through all the newness of this past year, perhaps the greatest gift given to me was the acute awareness of my own feeble state. I need my God and he reminds me at every turn. 

This year has been most memorable for all the new and exciting progress made. Advancement in work, beginnings of ministry, furthering education, and a growing family are all reasons to rejoice. They are reminders to praise God for the work he is doing in my life, but any accomplishment earned or gift received is all for naught if it does not lead me closer to Christ. The goal is Christ and his glory, nothing more (for there is no such thing) and nothing less. He must increase and I must decrease. If not for his sustaining hand, I would be utterly crushed by the weight of all my progress. 

While the Lord brings forth the fruit, he also allows some thorns to remain. Yes, he sustains me, but it is still hard to pray. It is still hard to slow my breathing and it is still hard to keep the faith. Even here my God is sufficient for me. No amount of fretful scrupulosity can ever outlast his calming grace towards me. Yes, he sustains me, he keeps me going when it feels I cannot go on.

Early mornings and late nights make the eyes weary, but the Spirit takes advantage of these moments to speak into our lives. His word reveals truth and his Spirit bears its fruit in the heart of each believer. The fruits and thorns of these past few months have given me much to consider. A pause from writing does not assume a pause from thinking. On the contrary, I am grateful for a brief keyboard hiatus, so that I might have more time to articulate what the sustaining hand of the Lord looks like while at work in the hearts and minds of his children.

How can I better describe his sustaining hand? How can I show you that he truly holds up his children? Allow me a moment to be practical and specific. See what the Lord has laid on my heart to share. I have no outburst of energy to demonstrate, but come and see what he has taught me. 

Here are a few things that I have learned from the teaching and sustaining hand of the Lord:

• Men of God are usually those of few words and fewer complaints.

• It is good to be remembered, but better to be known.

• Legalism and obedience look alike, but smell very different.

• Be sure to like the taste of the words on your lips, bitter words return even more sour.

• Be content to be a common man for the glory of Christ.

• It is better to be a cup overflowing than a gallon half empty.

• There is a fine line between faithful waiting and fearful hesitation. It is scary to stand on either side of that line, doubly so to straddle it.

• Many men have starved from eating the fruit of hypothetical trees. Christ bears true substance and always satisfies.

• Do not let your life be governed by the hatred of any man, but by the love of one.

• People crave acceptance, but what they really need is truth.

• When you cannot say all that might be said, say what must be said.

• No honest man believes his theology is perfect, but most live as if it were.

• Praise God that in Christ the expansion of the mind does not come at the expense of a diminished heart.

• Loneliness can make a nearby enemy more comforting than a far off friend, but Christ lives within the heart of each believer. 

These have been the things I have learned in this season. The Spirit testifies to my spirit that I am God’s child. He sustains me through these quiet whispers. 

Yes, our God sustains. He began a good work and has promised to complete it. This might not always take the form of revived energy or intensified focus. It might just be the subtle prompt of the Holy Spirit, confirming things you know to be true. We need truth to endure. Our God is truth. 

I must praise my sustainer. He is not only the author of my faith, but also its perfector. He plants the seed and makes it grow. He wears me out and makes me able. When I am weak he is strong. If you feel worn out, drained, or depleted, take courage knowing that our God is one who sustains. If you have no strength, hope in the one who supplies our every need (strength included). 

Have you seen what our God has done with dead men? Imagine what he can do with a tired one!

I hope in God.

He is my sustainer. 

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”

Psalm 55:22