By Myself

Hunting by yourself is a big step in becoming a capable and legitimate outdoorsman. You will only make it so far in the woods if you follow the steps of those in front of you. At some point you have to make your own boot tracks and climb new ridges. I was always excited to go out hunting by myself when I was younger. Don’t hear me wrong, I deeply loved hunting with my dad. I watched his every step, stopped when he stopped, listened when he listened, looked where he looked, and tried my best to mimic all his mannerisms. I wanted to be a hunter, so I watched the one in front of me and tried to do what he did. I walked a lot of hollows with him in front of me, but like most young men I reached a point where I wanted to go my own way. I wanted to show I could be by myself.

Around highschool I got the itch to start going out on my own. I vaguely remember the first time I went hunting by myself. I hooked the boat up to the truck, loaded the dog, grabbed my gun and bag of decoys and I went duck hunting. I had backed a trailer, drove the boat, and ran the river many times before, but always under supervision. It’s strange how familiar places look so different once you are all by yourself. I don’t remember shooting any ducks on that first solo hunt, but I do remember feeling as if I had accomplished something. That hunt set me on a trajectory towards growth and capability I otherwise might not have grasped, but it also sent me down a road I did not quite expect. From that point on I learned a lot about being by myself. 

It’s a normal progression for young people to want to do things on their own. It’s good to be tested, but better to be proven. Facing challenges on your own and learning how to work your way through them is a blessing no matter how painful those challenges can be. Even Christ had his 40 days in the wilderness to be tested and proven. Being by yourself can produce good fruits because it allows time to think, process, and respond in ways that you can’t when you are hedged by the presence of others. However, being by yourself is only meant for a season. I have found the breaking point where independence turns to loneliness and it was in those moments I realized I didn’t really want to be by myself. 

Hunting by yourself because you want to and hunting by yourself because you have to are very different things. One can be a restful experience. The other is a dreadful affair. One culminates in peace and rejuvenation, the other brings forth anxious toil. In my hunting, I have found it possible to be both joyful and lonesome while being by myself. 

Hunting was always designed to be a communal affair. We were meant to share it with others. I enjoy quiet mornings in the woods alone, but it’s still nice knowing my buddy is just down the hollow from me. I like being by myself, but I like having others to share the hunt with more. It’s no different with my faith. I am energized by quiet time alone with God, but I grow more when I talk about the things of God with others. I often pray by myself and have experienced deep intimacy with God, but the Spirit seems to move even more when I pray with others. We are saved by grace and through faith alone, but we weren’t meant to walk in that faith all alone. I am not made to be exclusively by myself.

My heart breaks for lonely hunters, but it grieves for lonely Christians. Christ was cast out by himself, so that we wouldn’t have to be. We are given a new family as part of our new faith, but so many have a hard time finding their place within it. That can be due to a variety of reasons, but nevertheless many feel alone even after being found. I reckon the most lonely of folks are the ones who hunt by themselves because they have to and Christians who have yet to find their place within God’s family of believers. Christian, the Spirit God has placed within you longs to fellowship with the Spirit within other believers. Christ’s church is where this takes place and I don’t just mean the building with a steeple. If you are in Christ and feel increasingly lonely, is it because you are disconnected from his body, the church? Christ did not die for you to be a fringe family member. He did not give up his seat at the table for you to stand outside the dining hall all alone. Come inside, find your seat, and be willing to endure the thorns of those sitting around you because the man that paid for your seat also paid for theirs. There is a place for you in the royal family of God. Do not say, “I am better off by myself.”

While I have grown much in seasons of lonesomeness I was never meant to stay there. Hunting by myself has been rewarding, but I have found my outdoor pursuits to be greatly enriched by the company of others. Likewise, my faith is lifted higher and I am closer to my God when I pray, worship, and live life with those also in pursuit of Him. Christ is my treasured savior. He leads me to the Father who says, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.” Since I have been bought with the blood of Christ, sealed by the promised Holy Spirit, and claimed eternally by God almighty there will never come a day when I say, “I am all by myself…”

Christ, I am yours and you are mine. I love you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for days of solitude and moments to be by myself, but thank you more for your loving arms that never lose their grip on me. You have given me a family of believers to live this life with, your church. You will not forsake this family, let me not either. Teach me to love your church and to be active therein. Help me to walk humbly, not desiring to be seen, but to quietly serve. Yours be the glory. Forever and ever, amen. 

Hebrews 10:24-25

24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Ephesians 2:18-19

18 For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. 19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God,

Galatians 4:6-7

6 And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.