Steady

Lord, as I sit to write this, my usual fervor for writing and even praying seems to be far off. My mind feels slightly distracted, maybe a little worn. Perhaps it's busyness at work or home causing me to feel unsettled in writing today, but busyness feels more of an excuse than good reasoning to not be growing or developing. You know getting things done is a real motivator for me. Achievement and productivity are high on my list of valuables. Whether it be professional advancement or spiritual growth there is an ever present sense of urgency within me to get done what I feel should be done. However, I recognize the need for more steadiness in my heart. A calming of the soul. More time to sit and be still. A need for stable ground in which to walk, not run.

Spiritually speaking, “steady” seems to be the word for my current season. Your Holy Spirit graciously prompts me to pray for more steadiness almost daily. Sometimes I wonder why this recurring theme of steadiness dwells near me now. Is this calling uniquely my own? I doubt it, but I can’t deny the working of the Spirit in my own heart.

Slow, deliberate, and persistent pursuit of Jesus. That’s what I am praying towards right now, for myself, my family, those who know you, and those who don’t. Steady after you God. That is where I want to be. Give me a firm place to stand in Christ. Show me the appropriate pace in which to follow you.

Lord, you know I want to run after you, but you also know the discouragement that shadows my heart when my lungs give out and I am unable to gain ground quickly and consistently. So keep me hungry, but content. Eager, yet wise. Moving, but rooted. Remind me that purposeful walking is the goal.

You are a God of steadiness. Unmoving and unchanging. Just as you established and continue to keep the natural processes of this world moving and alive, you have established and kept me in Christ. There is nothing that can separate me from you. So, I know you hold me steady.

Keep me steady Lord, that is my prayer. Steady at home. Steady within your church. Steady in my relationships with others. Steady in your love. Steady in your grace. Steady in your Spirit. Steady in your word.

There is much more that could be said and much more that will be prayed, but right now my heart simply longs for a solid foundation where my faith can rest assured that I am loved and forgiven and called to a glorious purpose.

Steadiness can not be fabricated, this I know, and right now I struggle to find the words to describe the wrenching in my soul, but there is eloquence in simplicity.

So, until more words come, Lord keep me steady in Christ and steady after you.

Amen.